The Subcarrier Homepage Blues

Words by W. Scott "Cosmo" Snyder

Music by Robert Zimmerman

TTTO: "The Subterranean Homesick Blues"

Johnny's on the modem tyin' up the phone again

He's on the Internet, talkin' 'bout the Government

The moderator topic cop said he'd better knock it off

If the thread didn't stop from the echo he's kicked off

Look out kid, is it somethin' you did?

Your sysop knows when you're doin' it again

You better watch what your typin' to all of your new friends

Don't you try to slip in a message that's encrypted

Even private mail can send a user off to jail

Maggie calls A-O-L so long she can't pay her bill

She's on Genie, Compuserve and Prodigy

Up all night so she can chat they'll pull the plug on her you bet

But if she's smart she can get her private mail on FidoNet

Look out kid don't matter what you did

Call the local B-B-S that takes American Express

Better stay on your tip-toes, brush up on your prose

When the echo mail throws you never know where it goes

You'd better stay away from the boards that charge you up the nose

Oh I-R-C, M-U-D, busted by the F-C-C

Clipper chip ain't gonna be, so they pass telephony

I-R-S, L-A-P-D will tap your lines so they can see

If GIFs are going interstate, your board the Feds will confiscate

Lookout kid, you're gonna get hit

By the C-I-A and G-T-E and cops from Memphis, Tennessee

Big brother is lookin' what your modem's been a cookin'

E-Mail your leaders tell them to disconnect the meters!

Oh log on, get gone, can't stay away for very long

Upload a filk song, chat all night until the dawn

Take a rest, get dressed, moving on to UseNet

Twenty years of schoolin' just to stay hooked to the Internet

Look out kid they keep it all hid

Remember your password or you're deleted in a purge

The system operator gets it sooner or later

But when you try to reconnect the system gives you holy heck

You can't log on 'cause some vandals took your handle