Karmic Retribution

Lyrics by Allison Durno and W. Scott "Cosmo" Snyder (just the third chorus, the fourth verse, and a few words here and there)

Music by W. Scott "Cosmo" Snyder

 

                         G                                  C                    G

Well, there's nothing like a premiere to set the heart a-pounding

          C                                                             D

The debut of a movie almost three years in the works

              G                                        C                             G

But the months of speculation, the debates, the whispered gossip,

              C                   Em           C         D         G

Can be ruined in one moment, by some obnoxious jerk

 

For he shanghaied press passes for the day before the premiere

And he hobnobbed with the critics, got a promotional T-Shirt

So he's seen that special movie a whole day before his friends do,

And he just can't wait to tell us when we are not

 

Chorus:

        C                              G

If I only can avoid him for 24 more hours

           Em                                                          D

If for once he doesn't tell me just how the movie ends

         G                                          C                       Em

If I don't answer the phone and if I don't pick up my E-Mail

         G                               D                          G

For just one day longer perhaps we'll still stay friends

 

I knew about Luke's dad before the first stellar fanfare

I could mouth the words in Wrath of Khan when Spock first died

Knew the scares in Jurassic Park and all the laughs in Beetlejuice

And as for the Crying Game, there was no big surprise

 

I knew who was playing Richard when Robin married Marian

Dennis died in Africa just when I had been told

Every cameo in Maverick and what happened to Jack Skellington

And why Sam Wheat became a Ghost, I knew before the previews rolled

 

Chorus:

If I only can avoid him until I see this movie

Oh the thrill of sitting in the dark, speechless with suspense

If I hide out in my room or if I sic my dog upon him

Just until this evening , perhaps we'll still stay friends

 

Well in hand I have tickets for the newest S-F movie

A small exclusive showing (I had to pull some strings)

My friend is green with envy, but he doesn't have to worry

For as soon as final credits roll, I'll tell him everything

 

 

I'll start with the ending, and once I've worked that over

I'll talk about the battle scenes and reveal who gets killed

I'll tell him all the jokes and I'll describe the hot romancing

Perhaps his spoiler tendencies just might begin to chill [yeah, right]

 

He never will avoid me for 24 more hours

Now for once I get to tell him just how the movie ends

He can run but he can't hide from this Karmic retribution

I just hope when the smoke all clears that we will still be friends.

 

If I only can avoid him for 24 more hours

If for once he doesn't tell me just how the movie ends

If I bolt up all my doors and then stuff me ears with cotton

For just one day longer perhaps we'll still be friends

For just one day longer perhaps we'll still be friends