Zoë greatly dislikes having her diaper changed. I've tried several things. Having a special toy at the changing table. Tickling her afterwards. Singing a silly song before and after. What has her response been?
Nope. No go. No thank you. Don't want my diaper changed. I want to stand up on the chaning table and then pee. I then want to sit down in the wet spot I just made, catching my dress underneath me so that I need a whole new outfit. I want to cry when you put me in my crib to clean up my mess. I LIKE my mess that's why I made it! I want to scream and cry like I've never seen you before and I have no idea why you are taking my pants off. I know you've been changing my diaper six to twelve times a day every day of my life but I don't care. I am not going to have my diaper changed anymore. If you try to change me on the floor I will simply flee from your efforts. I know you can't keep up with me! Ha ha!
posted by Amanda Snyder at 10:18 PM

I've stopped making Zoë's baby food and buying it in little jars. I'm having some big time guilt about it too. I just couldn't find the time. I found the process of making her food to be stressfull and takes time away that I could be spending with her, so we're on to Gerber. She's doing that typical one year old thing. Eat a lot today, not as much tomorrow, loves Ritz crackers now, shuns them later. Last night she kept opening her mouth for the spoon so I kept feeding her. She ate a jar of mixed vegetables, a jar of sweet potatoes and corn and was halfway thorugh a jar of pear and blueberry. I said, "Goodness baby where are you putting it all?" Then she opened her mouth and out it all came! She feels fine and 1 hour later was asking for bites of my dinnner. Sigh.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 7:32 AM

There's a big brush fire burning here in Southern California. It started on Sunday. It's burned close to 20,000 acres. It's in the very north part of the city we live in now. You can smell smoke and it's snowing ash all over town. Homes have been evacuated. Then there are people are running around trying to get as close as they can to it. Cars going up and down residential streets trying to get closer. People out with video cameras, recording. I took some pictures from the car. The last time I remember a fire like this was 1979 or '80, I'm not sure which, that burned lots of houses. The trouble was the wood shingle roofs that caught fire easily. After that the law was changed outlawing wood shingles. One of the reasons this fire has been burning so long is because of a plant called chapparal. It's natural process of seeding itself is to burn. When temperatures rise, as with a fire, the plant actually puts out a flammable substance of some kind. And there's chapparal all over the hills on fire. Add this to the record dryness and you've got an out of control fire. We're very safe where we are, down at the south end of town, surrounded by homes and the freeway. Still, it's pretty unsettling to see the hillside topped with fire. You can see flames, not just the orange glow, but flames from down here by our house. How big must they be? I have playgroup tomorrow so we'll be able to make sure our fellow playmates are all okay. I'm only worried about Gloria, I know she lives pretty far north.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 11:07 PM

We had quite the roller coaster week around here. Monday passed pretty uneventfully except that Zoë went to sleep at 8:00, woke up at 12:00 and went back to sleep at 2:00. Tuesday we had playgroup. Zoë knocked a couple of the babies down, threw a temper tantrum when I wouldn't give her any of Joel's banana and when I picked her up after going to far away she bit me. We went down to Kathye's house and while I was playing with Alyssa and Derrick I heard Alyssa call her brother a bastard. I reported her to her mom and she was in time out for a short time. After Alyssa goes into time out when other people are at her house, she doesn't want to come out because she's embarassed. So she sits there for 10 or 15 minutes instead of the 2 she's been sentanced to. We went home and Zoë didn't want to eat unless I was holding her. I ended up with Fruit Medley Dessert everywhere. She went to sleep. Scott came home. I went to bed with Zoë. 45 minutes later she rolled out of bed. THUD! So much for uninteruppted sleep. Wednesday we had dinner at my parents house. No problems there. Zoë goes to sleep at 8:30, wakes up at 12:30 and goes back to sleep at 3:00. She's up again at 7:00. We can't go anywhere because I'm really groggy from no sleep. Zoë amuses herself crawling/walking around. In deperation I call my mom to see if she can come down so I can take a nap. No answer at my mom's place. I leave a message asking her to call me back. By the time she calls me back I feel better and tell her what's going on with Zoë's sleep habits. My mom says "Okay, well, I'm going to take a snooze before the massuse gets here. I'm sorry. That's mean to say isn't it?" Zoë takes only one nap, eats three meals and two snacks and sleeps well Thursday night. Friday we have Quarternotes class. We have a substitute teacher who isn't as enthusiastic as our regular teacher. Zoë doesn't pay attention and is wild for the entire class. Dawnise comes over after our Quarternotes classand we go to Wal-Mart. I buy 2 pairs of pajamas for Zoë. I can't find a price on them so I ask the cashier to scan one for me. She does and I decide to buy them. She re-scans them both, charging me for 3 instead of two. I don't realize this until I'm out the door. We go back to the customer service desk. The cashier there gives me a refund for two instead of one. I take my seven extra dollars and leave. Zoë takes two short naps, eats well, plays well, enjoys our trips to Wal-Mart and the grocery store and sleeps well Friday night. Saturday (insert deep breath here) we go to Gymboree, go to Costco, come home, Zoë naps, and leave for our friends Bev and Ken's wedding reception. They've been together close to 8 years and have been living together for four. They got married in Oregon and had their local reception last night. We had a great time seeing friends, showing off Zoë and listening to Ken's band play. However, Zoë missed a real dinner as we fed her bits of whatever we were eating. She didn't sleep well last night. Scott got up with her at six and they've been snoozing in the recliner since 7:30 or so. Tomorrow we start over again. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 8:58 AM

Our days continue to be activity filled. Take Friday, it was the thirteenth but I didn't even blink. We were out the door at 9:30 a.m for music class at ten. We came home for a nap and a meal and headed out to meet our friends at the L.A. County Fair. It's the largest county fair in the country and we all grew up going every fall. Opening day admission is a dollar so we really couldn't pass it up. We saw pigs, goats, llamas, rabbits, cows, a donkey and chickens. While near the livestock pavilion I drank some chocolate milk. We headed off for the kids building to look at the children's entries and I got some really really tart lemonade. Luckily, I like tart lemonade and no one else does so I didn't have to share my large cup of refreshing beverage. We walked through the building housing all the vendors. (These vendors include every house cleaning gadget you could think of, jewlery cleaner, dolls, clothes, incense, perfume, rubber stamps and windows.) Then we went over to the home arts exhibits. My friend Susan and I have both participated in the home arts competitions. I won a second place ribbon for table setting. Susan has won a blue ribbon for mask painting. Susan's husband Kevin has won ribbons in woodworking. We walk around and say "Humph! I can do better!" Someone entered a cat litter cake in the decorated cake category. If you haven't seen one, it's a sheet cake baked in a new cat litter pan and then sprinkled with cookie crumbs dyed to look like cat litter. You can also melt Tootsie Roll candies and place them in the cat litter looking cake for a more authentic apperance. This particular cake was shoved waaaaaayyy in the back of the display case. Can't say I blame them. Then we got hungry. I ate 2 corn dogs and some more lemonade. This lemonade was pretty sweet and not as thirst quenching as my first lemonade. Zoë started to fuss so we headed for the car. I bought a churro on the way out to eat at home. Zoë conked out almost as soon as I started the car. It took us almost a half an hour to get out the parking lot. We got home and I was feeling a little sick so I didn't eat my churro. Zoë napped and I read. When she got up I fed her and myself while I read the grocery store sale circulars we got in the mail that day. I got Zoë dressed and rushed over to Ralph's to take advantage of their 24 pack of Coke for $3.99 sale. When we got home from that adventure the baby was asleep for the night. She didn't even budge when I took her out of her car seat. I got her down in bed and rested a little. I have to say that it was very convenient for her to be dressed when she got up on Saturday morning. Saturday morning we went to our play class and then had our friends Dan and Dawnise over. Today we hung out in the morning then Zoë and I visited with my friend Kathye and her kids while her husband Geoff and Scott were at a D&D game. Luckily, we have nothing planned for tomorrow. I might live.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 10:23 PM

September 11th, 2001 was a Tuesday. The next day would be the 2 week anniversary of the day they cut our daughter out of my body. We were still afraid to hold her with one arm or leave the house without an enourmous amount of supplies. I had left the entry "The Day's Headlines" in her baby book blank. The headlines the day she was born were about a woman who'd perched herself on a freeway overpass, contemplating the forty foot drop. The freeway was ultimately closed because of the cars going by with their drivers shouting "Jump! Jump!" I hadn't wanted to write that particular memory down. That Tuesday we didn't want to put our new girl-child down. We carefully passed her back and forth, alternating looking at people dying on television and the gorgeous gorgeous day outside.

I knew that there were women in labor that day. In the hospital room where my cervix refused to open up, in the rooms where my godchildren were born and amist the chaos of New York City women were waiting to push babies out into the newly frightened world. What did those babies mothers' write under "Headlines"? Did they paste a picture of the Twin Towers there? Did they write poetry? Or did they simply write "September 11th, 2001" and assume understanding?

I can only imagine the resentment and guilt of welcoming such joy on a day that will be met with tears and silence. At least, tears and silence until time enough passes to turn it into a day of picnics and sports events. How many times will those mothers hear the sympathetic "Oh........" in response to hearing their child's date of birth?

My husband made us turn off the television and we walked outside, the baby safely harnessed into her stroller. She dozed. Unaware that her parents, along with so many others, were wondering if it had been a mistake, bringing the perfect baby into the perfectly insane world.

Our daughter is a year old now. I could go on for months about the roller coaster ride that has been. She's starting to walk and talk. I wonder if she'll ever ask me about it. If she'll have a class assignment to ask her family where they were. Will any of her classmates say "My mom was having me."?
posted by Amanda Snyder at 9:37 AM