I did a not-so-smart thing today. A friend of mine e-mailed me a picture of myself. My reaction was: "Oh my god! Do I really look like that?" I decided that action needed to be taken. I knew that if I went to the store to buy Slim-Fast that I would loose my parking space, besides, Slim-Fast tastes gross to me. I got the baby to sleep and found my old "Callenetics" tape. This was a form of exercise I discovered in the '80's. It's designed to really work your muscles hard without straining your back or hurting yourself. If you stick with it long enough to do the one hour session twenty times you can see results. Here's an example of an exercise: Stand holding a barre or something that can double as a barre. Stand on your toes with your heels off the ground and touching. Your legs will be turned out, somewhat like a ballet dancer's. Now, lower your plevis three inches, tighten your glutes, tilt your pelvis forward and pull back up to your original position. Repeat ten times. Very, very slowly. I could do three. Zoë slept on the couch while I works my abs and legs. Then I got to do the stretches. These I greatly enjoy. Then I sat on the floor and felt a very distressed look come to my face. I didn't think my legs would hold me up. I waited for Scott to get home and tried to stand up. Oh gosh. I was able to take the baby upstairs and put her down. Then came the tricky part. I had to go back downstairs for the other half of the baby monitor. The fronts of my thighs were saying "Oh no. Don't think so. Thanks for asking though." Scott simply laughed at me. I think that my goal of completing the sixty minute video 3 times a week is optomistic.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 11:02 PM

I saw the new Country Crock margarine commercial the other day. It is as follows: A man comes home (you never see his face, just his hands or other body parts) says "I'm home! Hello!" He finds a plate of fresh baked bread on the kitchen counter, along with a container of Country Crock margarine. There is a post-it note attatched to the plate saying "Daddy: Your favorites! Love, Baby & Me." He turns on a baby monitor. We hear a woman singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". The man steps over a dog and we hear a woman's voice say "Oh, look! Daddy's home!" The man says "Yeah, I'm home."
First of all. When did this woman find time to bake bread? And why is there nothing else on the kitchen counter? Did I mention that the tile of the counter was perfectly white with no grunge in the grout? And NO toys on the floor. No clutter of any kind. The woman sounds rested and happy. And I did not hear that baby make any noise at all. The dog was lying perfectly still not making any sound or causing any rukus. Maybe they're just insane and have a make-believe baby. I find the whole thing disturbing.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 10:07 PM

My mom borrowed Zoë today. She wanted the baby to meet and old friend of her's, Phil. Well, see, when my parents were temporarily seperated in the mid-eighties my mom and Phil dated. They're still friends and mom wanted to show the baby off to him. She came and picked her up and I got 2 whole hours to myself. I put away some laundry then put on "Boogie Nights", possibly the most inappropriate film for children I have in my library. Then I read three articles in the new Rolling Stone before my friend Dawnise came over and we went for burgers. Mom brought the baby back and 'Nise and I spent the afternoon watching movies and playing with the baby.

Scott and I are putting the baby down in her crib to sleep at night. She's doing pretty good. We'll see how things go.

We watched "ER" tonight. The one about the possible smallpox outbreak. It got to the part where five men quarantined to the ER decide to break out. Dr. Carter restores order before they get out. One of the men looks out the glass doors to see riot police waiting to drive them back inside. I turned to Scott and said "If they were trying to break out to infect my baby I'd want the police to shoot them." I scared myself thinking that way.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 11:22 PM

It finally happened. The baby drove me to tears the other day. Everytime I picked her up she pinched, kicked, slapped or otherwise assaulted me in some way. By mid-afternoon I was afraid to hold her. So there she is shouting away and I'm crying because I know if I pick her up and try to hold her to get her to sleep she's going to kick me in the jaw. The other thing she does is put her left foot against my upper arm and push. Her foot eventually slides off, causing friction against my skin. Repeat enough times and I develop a welt that makes people ask "Oh, what is that?" And I KNEW she was tired. I KNEW she needed to be held and go to sleep. But I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I finally put her in her crib for five minutes or so. She tends to calm down after being shown the alternative to being rocked to sleep. After listening to her cry I went in and got her. She settled down and we both had a nap.

Zoë is also crawling now. I was in denial for at least 2 weeks. She was doing this low-crawl/army manuver type motion that got her from one place to another. Combined with rolling she got where she wanted to go. Last Friday my parents were over and Zoë got up on her hands and knees and crawled to my mom. I kept saying "I'm not going to say she's crawling until she does more than two of the knee steps forward." Well, she crawled three or four over to her grandma. (Who I thought was going to burst into tears.) I wrote the date down in the baby book and braced myself. On Monday she crawled across the room to Scott. Now I have a whole new topic to worry about: rug burns.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 9:36 AM

Today is my first Mother's Day as an official mother. Scott got up with the baby and I got to sleep in for another 2 hours. I went to the store for breakfast fixings. (This will probably raise eyebrows that I made breakfast on Mother's Day but I love to cook and I hardly get to do it anymore.) As with every holiday that honors women, there were a bunch of men running around frantically in the grocery. You could see them thinking "Ahhhhhh! Okay, uh, flowers. Uh, pancake mix. Uh, strawberries, Uhhhhhhh Card! I need a card!" We're going to go have dinner with my parents tonight. My dad called Scott and told him they were going to cook dinner for my mom and me. My father also told Scott that he was in charge of dessert, but, "I'm watching what I eat so it needs to be angel food cake with strawberries and cool whip", my dad says. Scott said to me "I hope you like angel food cake." Luckily I do.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 2:25 PM

On my way to the funeral today I was having a pretty morbid thought process. I was in the car driving down to Orange listing all the ceremonies I'd been to. Great-Grandpa Billingsley, Great-Great Uncle Kaas, Great-Grandma Elsie, my parent's friend Hal, Chad Hargrove in high school, Selden Marth, Nick Patti, Great-Grandma Billingsley, my grandmother. Then I was listing all the people I've know who died. Maurice Allard, Debbie Fox, Great-Uncle Lawrence, Susie Westlink, Vivian Small, Sterling Eldridge, Catherine Eldridge, Dr. Hawkins, Billy and Alma Passich, Great Uncle Harold and Great Aunt Jo, Gene Griffith, Great Uncle Bob, Great Aunt Dorothy, Nancy Snyder, Llyod Landa, Great Aunt Melba. I once met someone when I was 22 who said he'd never known anyone who died. I remember being shocked by that confession. When I left the service I was thinking awful thoughts like "I wonder who would come to my funeral? Besides Scott I mean?" Then I was making this mental list of everyone who would attend IF they were within driving distance to make the list longer. I went home and hugged Scott and the baby. Who had both been fine in each other's company all day.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 9:56 PM

I have to go to a funeral today. When I was young I had a babysitter named Heather who watched me three times a week from the ages of eight to twelve. If my parents went away for the weekend she came and stayed with me. Who I am today has a great deal to do with her influence on my life. Her husband died last Thursday at the age of forty. Three weeks younger than Scott. I haven't seen Heather since my wedding and I never met her husband but I need to go and pay my respects to her. She did not deserve to have this happen to her.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 8:35 AM

We went to Disneyland again today with our friends John and Stephanie. We got there about four in the afternoon. We walked around, ate dinner and took Zoë on her first ride. She likes to be outside and she loves to people watch so you can imagine the theme park is right up her alley. She sits up as far as she can and hangs onto the front bar of the stroller so she can see everything. On the train ride around the park (her first ride! I video taped it!) she got upset when the train stopped. When we left at eight she conked out in the car and slept back to John and Stephanie's. We loaded up our stuff without taking out of the car and headed home. She nursed a long time and then went right back down again. The exciting part of the day occured while we were looking at a bunch of ducklings on the Rivers of America. One mama duck and about a dozen baby ducks were eating the bread and stuff thrown by people standing at the water. The mama duck flew at an egret lurking nearby. We noted this and went back to watching the feeding going on. Then the egret swooped in and snatched up one of the ducklings! Oh no! The four of us stood there with our mouths open in disbelief at the Discovery Channel special that had occured right in front of us. One of the maintenance workers walked up and asked Scott "Was that a rat?" We all shook our heads. "Noooooooo......" We joked for the rest of the evening that one of us should develop some kind of nervous disorder so we could bring suit for a bundle of cash.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 9:58 PM

Zoë has taken to waiting up for Scott to get home. She naps from 4:30 until 5:30 or so. Then we have dinner. Bathtime happens around 6:30. I watch Jeopardy! Zoë plays on the floor. She nurses at 7:30 and alternates playing and cuddling with me. Scott ususally calls at 8:00 to let me know he's on the way home. He walks in the door around 9:00. Tonight, Zoë clapped her hands and grinned really big when he came home. Scott rocks her to sleep and then she's down for the night. It's much more difficult for me to get her to go to sleep at night. Daytime naps are less of a struggle but come nighty-night time she wants her daddy to sing her to dreamland. It's nice that I get a little time to myself while they have time together. However, I feel a little guilty for not doing chores during my evening solitude. I should put laundry away! I should get the sheets changed! I should straighten the baby's room! What I want to do is sit down!
posted by Amanda Snyder at 9:06 PM