Zoë and I went to a party last night. Scott and I have an old friend from Chaffey College Theatre named Michael. He's now living in Texas and is the vice-president of a restaurant chain. Another mutual friend, Steven, threw a cocktail party so we could see Mike. I almost didn't go. I'd have to take the baby and I was picturing this very sophisitcated soiree that wouldn't be pleased to see a wee one. I'm so glad I went. I got a chance to talk to Mike and Royce. I met Royce when he worked at Music Plus in Upland in 1989 (!!!!). Wow, it was great to see them. They all fussed over the baby and we got caught up. I told them how I live in the suburbs and stay at home with my child. And how my husband and I go down and visit our friends in Orange County on the weekends and we go to Downtown Disney to have dessert at the Jazz Kitchen. And how my best friend is also a SAHM and we go to the park. And how '50's my life is. But you know what? It occured to me in the car on the way home that we're really really happy. No need for me to feel ashamed about that.

Speaking of my best friend. Kathye had given me this Winnie-the-Pooh teething ring that played music when you pushed a button on it. I'd been letting Zoë play with it in her high chair so it had gotten gross with baby food. I ran it through the dishwasher. I took it out of the dishwasher and the music started to play without me pushing the button. I left for Kathye's house, leaving the toy on the counter. I came home six hours later and the thing was still playing away. I put it in the garage. You could hear it in the house. I moved it under some stuff in the garage. The next morning I went out to start laundry. The tune was still playing. I finally hit it with a hammer and threw it away.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 11:29 AM

My god, Zoë has a ton of clothes. How do I know this? I got every stitch of them washed and put away today. I also organized the nursery, did four loads of laundry and cleaned the rest of the house. As mentioned before, my mom came over to watch the babe while I white tornadoed around. Everytime I really get the house in order I have this odd desire to stand very still and say "This house......... Is clean." A la the psychic in the movie Poltergiest. Of course the fruits of all this labor will only last a couple days before drifting slowly but surely back into the sea of clutter is usually is but I do like the couple days it's nice. It will be a good thing for Scott to come home to a clean house and a bed with fresh sheets. Only 2 more days!
posted by Amanda Snyder at 5:05 PM

While Scott is goine I'm finding myself going to bed pretty early. The baby goes to sleep sometime between 7:30 and 9:00 p.m. Usually, she eats some dinner around 5:30, plays and then we get in the bathtub at 6:30 or so. She gets clean skin and hair (since she's started to eat food this process is quite important), a new diaper with lots of A&D ointment and clean jammies. She nurses and then is rocked to sleep. Tonight I was shocked to find myself ready to go to sleep at 8:30! Then I thought about it. When did Zoë get up? 6:30 a.m. So I've been up how long? Fourteen hours. Did I nap at all today? No. Did I accomplish things around the house in addition to taking care of my child and going on a picnic lunch with friends and still found time in the morning to call my husband in Newcastle? Yes. Go to bed for god's sake!
posted by Amanda Snyder at 8:51 PM

Zoë's two front teeth on the bottom have cut through. They're not grown in, just cut through. Although, you can feel it if she happens to bite you. I'm wondering how nursing is going to work now.

We watched the Oscars at John and Stephanie's house. I like the Oscars. Steph and I discussed who looked good and bad, the politics of the possible winners and reminiced about past ceremonies. We both thought that Ian McKellan continues to be shorted by the Academy, Sharon Stone looked beautiful and Whoopi Goldberg was funny. It was nice to spend time with them. The afternoon/evening was very laid back and casual. Nowhere to go and nothing to get done, just get caught up.

Zoë and I have moved back home. I'm always a little overwhelmed at the amount of stuff I don't get done in a day. Did I get the dishes in the dishwasher? Is there laundry to do? Did I get the clean laundry put away? Is the bathroom floor still gross? I find it difficult to get the trash taken out while Scott is gone. I have to leave the baby in the house by herself while I walk the bags across the street to the dumpster. I just don't feel comfortable doing that. My mom is going to come over on Thursday to handle the baby so I can get some chores done that have been vexing me.

posted by Amanda Snyder at 9:24 PM

Well, Zoë and I continue to just bide our time until Scott gets home. We're hanging out at my parents house for the next day and night. We're going to go down and see John and Stephanie on Sunday and hopefully watch the Oscars there. It'll be good to see them. I need to get a plan together for our days next week in an attempt to make time go by. I've found that if I can keep busy I tend to be less depressed about our state of affairs around here. Oh, and I've got to make more baby food. Joy! :P

I bought 3 new blouses today so it was a reasonably good day.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 11:32 PM

I heard from Scott again today. His trip has been extended ANOTHER week. So instead of seeing him in 3 days I won't see him for ten days. I don't recall the last time I was so disappointed.

Zoë has started to vocalize all kinds of sound based on the "ah" sound. Baa, Paa and Ma. She was saying "ma-ma-ma-ma-ma" today. I keep telling people that she's just making sounds but it's really, really cute.
I've come to the conclusion that there are 3 basic modes in Zoë's life. Having fun, content and unhappy. Unhappy can include tired, hungry, scared, angry, in need of new pants or generally desiring a change in the status quo. Having fun and content are self explanatory. If only my life were so simple.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 9:04 PM

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!
Scott is still in England. He was supposed to come home on the 15th be home for 2 days and then leave for the Game Developers Confrence in San Jose on the 18th. However, his job in Newcastle is going to take more time than had been allowed so he extended to the 22nd. My first thought was, of course, disappointed that I wouldn't see him this weekend. My second thought was "Oh no. He only has 7 pairs of clean underwear." It was pointed out to me that he has a masters degree and should be able to figure out either where to buy some new underwear or how to call down to the front desk and ask if they have laundry service. Jeez, I sound like his mom. Anyway, he's home on Friday night and my parents have agreed to watch the Zoyster on Saturday. Date night! whoo hoo!
posted by Amanda Snyder at 6:02 PM

Yesterday, Zoë and I had lunch with all of my grandparents. When I was born I had my mother's parents, my father's parents, my father's grandmother and my mother's grandparents. So, seven grandparents in all. I would go and stay with all of them and had been spending the night away from home from the time I was 6 months old. My father's father, my mother's father and his wife Dortha are all I have left. We went down to Orange California and met them for lunch. Zoe was tired and her gums hurt so she wasn't in the best of moods. She'd be okay for awhile and then she'd cry. I apologised for how she was acting and Dortha said "Oh, we've never been around kids so we don't understand at all." (Including Zoe they have 10 grandchildren/great-grandchildren and 6 kids.) I have to say it's really fun to watch them become animated and silly around the baby.

I think Zoe is going to roll as a form of mobility before she crawls. She's figured out that if she rolls over and over again she's closer to what she's looking at. I may have my hands real, real full her in not so very long.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 8:00 AM

Zoë has found her toes. Next to her thumb and my breasts they are her favorite thing in life. The first thing she does in the moring is grab her toes. When she nursed she holds her toes that aren't against my body. When she's in the car, she holds her toes. She also can put one toe and her thumb in her mouth. She happy to spend time in her activity saucer too. Now, she grab her toes but she can't see her toes either so maybe that makes them a non-entity. They days of sitting in the bouncy chair are going to be coming to an end soon. She has one at her grandparent's house and she can already hoist herself into an erect sitting position in that one. I think she wants to be closer to the toy bar. The one we have here. Well, she like to kick the toy bar completely off. Then she looks very pleased with herself. The bar's getting twisted out of shape from all the violence acted upon it. I bought the baby a jumping seat. The kind you hang in a doorway. My god but she loves it. Her record is 45 minutes. The only doorway I have here to hang it in is in our spare bedroom. We call it the music room as all of Scott's guitars are stored there. We set up our extra TV with the Sega game system in there. So you can play video games and watch the baby jump up and down. This works out well for everyone.

Scott is in Englad again. He had a last minute trip given to him. He'll be home on Friday. I'm splitting my time between my house and my parents place. I said to Scott "Boy, what if I'd told you twenty years ago that one day you'd say 'I don't want to go to England again. I was just there.' "

Baby's crying. Gotta go.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 12:57 PM

I can remember lying in bed when I was nine or so and listening to the shower run downstairs. My father got up around five to get ready for work and he was the one who woke me up for school. If the shower was running it meant I could lie in bed for another little while. I didn't have to worry about school or anything else for another 20 minutes. I had a cotton comforter that had belonged to my parents. It was old so it was wonderfully soft. I'd tuck down under the blanket and doze. Toasty and warm and content. Now I ask Scott to leave the bathroom door open so I can hear the shower. If I'm having trouble sleeping I've found that if I can listen to a shower running I drift off. I've read the philosophy that everyone creates their own version of Heaven. Sometimes I've been heard to say that mine would consist of watching movies with my girlfriends while someone brings me sundaes. But really? I'd be in bed, curled up under my wonderfully soft comforter, listening to my father take a shower and knowing I was safe.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 9:09 PM

Zoë gave me a hard time about going to sleep tonight. She'd been up for 3 hours or so and I knew she was tired. She was rubbing her eyes and acting cranky. I went into the nursery, turned off the lights, turned on some lullabye music and tried to rock the baby. She screamed. And I mean SCREAMED. I put her down in her crib, she screamed harder. Scott called. I went and sat at the bottom of the stairs and talked with him about how the baby was screaming. I went and picked her up. She screamed some more. Now, I'd fed her, burped her, rubbed Baby Orajel on her gums and changed her diaper prior to all of this vocalizing so I knew she was okay, just tired. I took her downstairs and rocked her. She screamed. I sat her up so she was cuddled against my chest she went to sleep. I went upstairls and put her down. She screamed but I REALLY had to pee so I went to the bathroom. While I was in there she went to sleep. Of course, now I'm wondering if I'd have left her for a minute or two longer would she have gone to sleep on her own. We'll never know.

On Sunday I was very motivated to not get up with the baby. I wanted Scott to get up with Zoë and change her diaper and feed her breakfast so I could sleep another 45 minutes. I remember thinking very clearly: "Maybe if I lie very, very still he'll get up with her." Scott response when I told him this was: "So, you thought 'Maybe if he thinks I'm dead he'll get up with the baby.' That's good thinking." I pointed out that I got an extra 90 minutes of sleep so my clever plan worked.
posted by Amanda Snyder at 9:08 PM